The Wit and Wisdom of Alfred Hitchcock

According to Alfred Htchcock puns are the highest form of literature. The master of suspense let the puns fly (for example, he reminds us that "general-ize" is not in the army) during a funny and fascinating interview he gave on The Dick Cavett Show. That episode originally aired on June 8, 1972 and was recently shown again on Turner Classic Movies. Hitch was promoting Frenzy (1972), but Cavett teased out Hitch's technical secrets, his feelings about working with actors, when his fascination with fear began, how his infamous penchant for practical jokes led to a particularly colorful dinner party, and much more. As part of the Alfred Hitchcock Blog-A-Thon, below are some of my favorite moments from Hitch's appearance on the show:

On His Fear of the Police
"Psychiatrists say that if you can trace the origin of your fear it will disappear. The whole thing is a confounded lie. I still have it. It never left me."

A MacGuffin is Not on the Menu at McDonalds
"A Macguffin you see in most films about spies. It's the thing that the spies are after...the thing that the characters on the screen worry about but the audience don't care."

On Nudity
"Someone asked me the other day how long did I think nudity would last on the screen. And, if you wouldn't think me too vulgar in saying, I said, 'well, all breasts sag eventually.'"

Why Special Effects Are Necessary
"That's how actors earn their money: by not having to do the things they're supposed to do."

Did He Really Refer to Actors as Cattle?
"I think at the time I was accused of calling actors cattle and I said that, um, I would never say such an unfeeling, rude thing about actors at all. What I probably said was that all actors should be treated like cattle."

The Best Part of Making A Movie
"Not the shooting. The working it out, and getting it all done and finished. Then the creative thing is done, and I wish I hadn't got to go any further. I'd rather not make the film...because you have to start with all the actors again. That necessary evil..."

Why Disney Rules
"Walt Disney had the right idea. If he didn't like the actors he tore them up."

What's Funny?
"Making a picture like Psycho. That's hilarious to me. It has to be. There's a fine line between fear and what is comic."

Predicting the Success of Jackass
"There's a fine line between tragedy and comedy. How often did you see years ago the old fashioned scene of the man walking toward the open manhole cover?...and you watch him and he walks; he's reading a paper...and suddenly disappears down the hole and everybody roars with laughter. But suppose you took a second look and looked down the hole? His head is cut and bleeding, they have to send for an ambulance, his wife rushes to the hospital... Imagine how ashamed that audience is that they laughed in the first place, and yet they do. Slipping on a banana skin in very painful...there's a streak of cruelty among everyone."

How Brad Met Angelina
"One hears of so many mulitple marriages in Hollywood....I think it's really because [actors] meet in a love scene in a picture and bring it to life, to truth, after six o'clock— in the dressing room preferably."

The Dick Cavett Show interview is recommended viewing for any true Hitchcock fan. If you didn't happen to catch it on TCM don't despair, it's available on Disc 4 of The Dick Cavett Show: Hollywood Greats DVD series. Meanwhile, all the Alfred Hitchcock you can stomach is being served up at the Hitchcock Blog-A-Thon.

This essay written by Thom Ryan
© 2006 Thom Ryan Some rights reserved

Comments

[Squish]

Awesome Thom. I knew Hitch was funny but I had no idea that he was so witty!

Thanks for doing a piece outside of the realm of your spectrum (a Film a year in order)

[Thom]

Glad you liked it, S. It was refreshing to do something a little different. I taped this off TCM back in September and waited to watch and transcribe the best bits from it till the Blog-a-Thon. Hitch's sense of humor was on display almost non-stop, and he managed to say all of that stuff with a straight face too. Thanks for including me in the 'thon.